Fanny
Out of the corner of my eye, as I passed her room in the health care center, I caught a glimpse of Fanny staring blankly at the wall. She attended chapel every Sunday, but she had been missing that day.
I stopped, knocked on the door, and asked if she was all right. Still surprisingly healthy for a woman of almost one hundred years, she turned and beckoned me in. A tear streamed down her left cheek. I sat down next to her.
“I don’t know why I am still alive…I never thought I would live this long…Why?…There is no one left in my family…I don’t know why I am still here.” As one hundred approached, despair festered.
For many, living until one hundred may be a goal, for others a deadline.
Fanny died within days of her one hundredth birthday.
I have been preaching at a retirement home in San Francisco for the past thirty-four years. Over that time I have seen several generations of elders enjoy their days with varying degrees of “success.”
Some live vital, full, meaningful, lives right up until they pass on. Others are depressed, ready to give up or give in to death, often feeling as if they are simply being warehoused–out of sight out of mind.
Oral Histories of Everyday Elders, is a multi-layered project.
More than simply video documentaries of the fascinating lives led by everyday people, the project will look at:
- How elders maintain a sense of relevance, meaning, and purpose as they approach the century mark. Or, how it is that sense of purpose is lost.
- Exploring attitudes toward death and dying, including suicide and euthanasia, among elders.
- What role faith plays, and how religious attitudes change as people age.
- How aging issues may vary in people of different cultures, different sexual orientations, or inter-racial relationships.
- How different living situations affect aging–people still in their own homes, in “village” communities, in life care retirement communities, nursing homes, or homeless.
- The regional, geographic, effect on aging.